1 Year In........October 14, 2017
Last Sunday my love and I officially took one whole trip around the sun as husband and wife. We turned ONE! And being Mrs. Reid is literally the joy of my life and I am so grateful to be married to such a wonderful human being. 🤗 And as excited as I am about this I have been struggling to put it to words. And I am not exaggerating or trying to sound deep. I have seriously been struggling to put words on paper. This is literally my 3rd drafted anniversary blog post and I am over a week late sharing this. 😩 But I have come to the conclusion that it’s ok. While I want everything to be on time and perfectly articulated that’s just not realistic. I am also realizing that this entire 1st year God has been trying to drill one specific message in me. A message that I still struggle with everyday. The message that my focus needs to be on progress, not perfection.
If I had to use 2 thoughts to sum up our 1st year of marriage I would first say blessed beyond measure but also a huge reality check. Those don’t sound like they go together do they? 🤔🤣 But it is the honest truth. As much as I would love to report that it’s all cupcakes and rainbows over here I would be doing anyone reading this a grave disservice. To tell you all the good stuff and ignore the hard, uncomfortable and honestly sometimes sucky truths would be misleading. And in our world of social media with perfectly curated feeds filled with nothing but highlight reels, I think that the truth is a lot more powerful and has the ability to help others struggling in the same areas. The truth is that this first year has not been a cake walk. I realized that I am still battling with some of the insecurities of my past. I am also very opinionated, I think I know everything and I want things go to my way (but I mean who doesn’t want that 🙃😩🤣). I also struggle with the ‘role’ of a being someone’s wife. You know how in society we have this perception that women should have this natural ability to just handle it all. They should work a full time job 👩🏾💻, keep their house clean 🏡✨, cook amazing meals 3 times a day🥞🥘🌮, keep the kids in order 👦🏾🧒🏽👧🏽👶🏾, go to church ⛪️ , eat healthy 🥦, exercise 🏃🏾♀️ , have hobby👩🏾🎨 , have a social life 👭 and STILL have energy to twerk somethin’ every night.😏 I’m exhausted just typing all of that but that’s honestly the standard I have been unknowingly trying to live up to. I want to be Superwoman because honestly she sounds pretty DOPE! But unfortunately she’s not real. And neither is the idea that anyone is successfully accomplishing all of these things at the exact same time. The truth is that we are all struggling with something and have a standard we are trying to live up to. And more often than not, this standard isn’t coming from other people. Neither God nor my husband ever expected all of this from me. After many conversations and a lot of prayer I realized this is really all in my own head. 😩 And trying to live up to this unrealistic standard has lead me to shedding more tears this year than I would like to admit. 😭
What I have learned from this y’all is that God’s grace is truly sufficient. So while I am still struggling to come to the grips with the fact that I just can’t be superwoman ☹️ I am also realizing that it’s a good thing. That means God gets to stand in the gap and supernaturally handle all the things I can’t do by my own human strength. And God has really been here with us this year. From our home life to our finances to our communication (which needed some serious help at one point 😩) God is really taking care of us. So in the midst of growing pains and everyday struggles we have spent this first year flourishing in unexpected ways. We are accomplishing spiritual, marital and financial goals all while traveling the world, going to concerts, making new friends, celebrating life, planning our future and just really learning each other. God has done so much and we have so much to be grateful for.
But God isn’t just doing this because we are special or one of God’s ‘choose few’. The grace God has given us is not exclusive to us. We were just wise enough to realized something early on that unlocked some of Gods greatest blessings. And it’s simply that if we want Gods hand in our marriage we have to invite him in. We have to intentionally place God in the center of it. And not in the cliche, impractical way everyone says all the time. 😒 Y’all know what I mean. When everybody gives their speech at your wedding telling you to keep God first, but never really tells you HOW to do keep him first. 🤔 I think for most people it just sounds like the right thing to say. But Ken and I actually spent time talking about and defining what that truly meant before we got married so that we could apply. Putting God in the center means that while we do have our own personal relationships with God that we each care for seperately, we also have to come to God together as a unit. We pray TOGETHER. We read Gods word TOGETHER. We go to church TOGETHER. We tithe TOGETHER. And lastly we hold each other accountable to God’s standards for our life and our marriage. We do not do all of these things perfectly all the time but we are committed to working at it daily. We want to continue to grow into being one because honestly I don’t believe it happens just by saying I do on your wedding day. And the more we work on our oneness the more we open the door to all that God has in store for our union.
Thank you for my wonderful husband and the gift of marriage. Thank you for the blessing and the struggle because they are both necessary to get us where you need us to be. God continue to teach us how to be better spouses to each other. You uniquely designed us both so help us know each other the way you know us. And God do not allow anyone or anything to come between the union you have brought together.
In the mighty name of Jesus!