13 Ways to Keep Your Mental Health in Tact During Quarantine

We are approaching the end of April and I have officially lost track of how long we have been in quarantine. Honestly most days I barely know what day of the week it is. 😩 We are definitely living in some interesting times. 🙃When the year started nobody would have ever predicted that just 3 months in we would all be confined to our homes trying to protect ourselves and our families from Covid-19. Life has a funny way of throwing us some unpredictable curve balls. 😕

When the stay at home order was first issued, honestly it did not really phase me. I live 12 hours from my immediate family and I work for myself from home, so I spend 90% of my time at home anyway. I was thinking, ok we will spend a couple weeks on lockdown and then get back to normal. No biggy! But then the stay at home order was extended followed by the military giving us military families ann even further directive, not to leave the state for 60 days. (WOMP WOMP 😩) Then to put the icing on the cake, all 3 of my May couples have had to reschedule their weddings for later in the year. That was followed up with nervous emails from the rest of my 2020 brides. So although I started out not being worried or phased by the pandemic, it only took about one week for me to go from mildly concerned to alarmed. Postponed weddings and not being able to shoot any new sessions has definitely affected my business significantly. It has also been hard to watch my loved ones take a hit financially and even harder to hear of friends with family members who have contracted the virus. This virus is impacting our lives and finances in really unexpected ways.

As you can tell from the title, this blog isn’t to rant about all the ways life has gotten difficult. But there is no way to ignore the fact that life has taken a major shift. The fact of the matter is that this quarantine has been getting harder and harder every day. It’s hard hearing about people being sick and feeling helpless. It’s hard to be confined to your home with no real end in sight. It’s hard to try and be positive in the middle of such uncertain times. Do not get me wrong, I am still super blessed and grateful that everyone I love is healthy and safe. So I am happy about this. But I am learning that it is possible to be grateful and also sad, scared, overwhelmed and frustrated all at the same time. Waking up each day has become an internal battle. I am battling with how I will feel each day. And to be honest some days the sad, scared, overwhelmed, frustrated side has won.

The ‘Good Christian’ thing to say is that I have faith and that I’m praising God through this storm. But honestly that is not how I’ve been feeling lately. One morning last week I from an awful dream. I can’t remember exactly what the dream was about but I do remember waking up in a cold sweat. And once I was awake, I realized that our reality right now isn’t much better than my nightmare. We are being bombarded with bad news, sadness, sickness, and death. It’s all over the news, radio, and social media. We can’t even have a conversation without Covid-19 being mentioned. And as insignificant as it may seem it is hard not being able to do any of the things we are used to doing. Things as simple as going to work, to the mall, out to eat, traveling, visit family and friends, etc. We are confined to our homes living what feels like the same day over and over again. We cannot tune out or ignore what is happening right now, no matter how hard we want to. It is very easy to slip into depression or be overwhelmed by anxiety.

Ok so now that I have completely bummed you guys out, are you ready to hear some good news? 🙃 Although we can not change what is happening in the world (except for staying at home and practicing social distancing like we have been instructed) there are ways for us to cope with the hand we have been dealt. For the past few weeks I have had some bad days where I felt sad, fearful, and overwhelmed by everything going on. But I have also had some had good days too. The difference between the two was the way I choose to spend my time and energy. I have to be intentional about doing things that are going to put me in better spirits and keep me uplifted. So I wrote down the things that helped me and I hope they will be helpful to you too. And if you have anything helpful to add please put them in the comments below.

Disclaimer: I am not a therapist so if you are dealing with extreme depression or anxiety please seek professional help.

Be honest about how you feel right now

I read a meme the other day that really resonated. I can not remember what it said word for word but the gist of it was ‘We are all experiencing a collective traumatic experience. Just do your best.’ I think we all have this internal defense mechanism that turns on in tough situations. It wants to convince us that we are doing fine, even when we are not fine. Honestly when this all started I was Ms. Positivity. I was trying to put a positive spin on this for myself and everyone else. I wanted people to see only the blessing and not acknowledge the other stuff. I am healthy. My family is healthy. We are all safe in our warm homes with food to eat. We are blessed and that was what I kept saying. Until one day I woke up and everything felt really heavy. Nothing had changed. We were still in quarantine. We were still all healthy and safe. But I still felt a dark cloud hanging over me. 😓It was then that, I was able to honestly say how I felt. That this is scary. I am uncertain of how or when things will be a back to normal. This is causing my plans, budget, and business to be derailed. I am sad for myself and especially for others who are sick, dying, lost a loved one or lost their jobs. There is no other way to describe this all than to just simply say, this pandemic and quarantine SUCKS! That is the most honest way I can say it. Once I acknowledged how I felt, all of that the heaviness did not disappear. But it did get a little lighter. Holding our feelings in does nothing but cause further stress, anxiety, depression, anger, fear, or resentment. Acknowledging how I feel released me from what felt like a prison and allowed me to find a better way of coping.

Stop scrolling the day away!

THIS IS SO IMPORTANT! So in 2020 our phones have honestly become an obsessions. We are so obsessed that they are basically a extension of our hands. We never put them down. I recently read an article that said we are spending 50% more time on social media than we were prior to this pandemic. And not only that, a lot of us have a bad habit of starting and ending our day scrolling (I am guilty of this one for sure). As soon as we open our eyes in the morning many of us reach for our phones. We do this before praying, brushing our teeth or even having our morning coffee. And many of us drift to sleep with our phones in our hands. It has become such a habit for many of us that what we don’t even realize we are doing it. The problem is that when we start and continue the day this way, we are unknowingly setting the tone for our entire day. With all the bad news, sickness, death, job loss, etc. our phones are subconsciously telling us to be sad, fearful, anxious and depressed. It’s important to pay attention to what you are feeding your spirit.
On the days when I am down I spent a lot more time on my phone, reading new articles and scrolling social media. So I am making a conscious effort not to touch my phone first thing in the morning. It’s such a hard habit for me to break that I have to purposely not charge it at night so when I wake up and reach for it is dead. Or I will leave it downstairs so I cant reach for it at all. Now I do have an apple watch so I will know if someone calls in an emergency. This may sound extreme but for me it’s that serious. I do whatever I need to do to keep myself from scrolling all morning. I am not perfect at this but on the days I stick to this I have noticed that I feel so much better.

Pray

Since I decided not to start my day with social media and news, I replaced it with something much more important, prayer. It is no secret that I am a Christian. And prayer is crucial to my walk with God. But even though I know I need prayer, it is still something I have to will myself to do everyday.

Prayer is simply communication with God. It’s our way of telling him what’s on our hearts and minds and hearing him speak back to us. On the days I have started with prayer compared to the days I haven’t, there has been a huge difference. My mood has been better. I have been more focused and productive. And I feel so much lighter. It is something freeing about being able to give my worries and fears to the Lord. And also asking him to help me make it through another day. God giving me back my positivity. He has even given me opportunities to encourage and pray with other people. Simply put PRAYER WORKS!

Read Your bible

This is another key ingredient to my walk with God and also another activity that is really easy to push to the side. I am going to be real with you guys. This is one of the least fun activities in my walk with God. But it is also one of the most important activities in my walk with God. There are very few days where I ‘feel’ like reading my bible. But once I push past how I feel, I actually enjoy it. And not because it is fun but because it is fruitful. There has never been a time I actually regretted spending time reading Gods word.
This is even more important during this pandemic. God is not surprised by this Pandemic. He allowed this to happen and it’s literally gotten the whole worlds attention. What better time then now to seek God like never before. While we are being bombarded with sadness’s and death, we should be filling ourselves with the living word. You will learn all about God and his plans for you. Your faith will grow stronger. You will be reminded that this life is only meant to be temporary and that the answer to all of this is God. Nothing would bring God more joy than being closer to you.

Go for a walk/Exercise

Sitting still and relaxing was great for a minute. At the beginning of the quarantine my husband and I were loving sleeping in and just laying around with not much to do. We felt rested and relaxed. But after about a week of that I noticed significant change in my mood and even our energy levels. Our lives before quarantine were filled with the busyness of going to work, running errands, etc. Basically a lot more movement than just simply going from the bed to the couch. So when we went from being super busy to barely doing a lap around the house, it is to be expected that there would be some sort of emotional shift that will happens as well. I was sad and tired and it was making quarantine even harder.

So my husband suggested I start exercising more or at least get outside for a walk and some fresh air. Exercising has been apart of my weekly routine for the last couple years. So this is not a new quarantine activity for me. But I was not nearly as consistent as I should have been and I was not pushing myself to get better. I was working out to say I did it. And at the beginning of quarantine I somehow thought taking a break from exercise was a good idea! 🙃So after my husbands suggestion, I pretty much made it apart of my routine almost daily. Not only is it benefiting my health but I honestly just feel so much better. Exercise is a natural way to boost your mood and give you energy. It may be hard to will yourself into getting started but afterwards you will feel so accomplished. So please try this. Whether is it is a 3 mile run, yoga, or chasing your kids around your backyard, get out and get some vitamin D (sunlight), fresh air, and to to move your bodies. And even if you are balancing working from home and watching your kids, try and fit in a 30 min workout during nap time or at least a brisk family walk around neighborhood. Everyone will feel a lot better.

Schedule frequent FaceTime/Zoom calls with friends and family

I have never been more happy to have a smartphone than I am during this pandemic. I live 12 hrs away from my family, so I am no stranger to FaceTime. But it’s even more crucial right now when we aren’t even allowed to visit local friends. Quarantine is forcing us to do the opposite of our human nature. Humans are meant to be in community. We are meant to be around people and relate to people. So I think it’s especially important to stay connect with ppl until we are allowed to be face to face again. And I know there are lots of people dealing with the difficult task of watching their kids and trying to work simoltaneously, there are others who are in their homes by themselves. Both circumstances are hard and it is nice to check in on people. We all need it. My family has been doing about 5 zoom calls per week. It may be anywhere from 5 -10 of us all on video chat checking on each other, talking about our days and just being silly. It is so comforting.

Limit TV time

I know Netflix and Hulu seem like the best way to fill our time right now, I am going to suggest something that may seem kind of backwards. DO NOT spend all your spare time staring at the TV. Now I am not suggesting that you never turn on your TV. I think it’s fine in moderation (especially if you are careful what you watch on TV anyway). But TV is actually counterproductive in almost every way. In the book 168 hours, Laura V. actually explains how tv has the opposite affect that we want it to have. We watch it to relax and find enjoyment. But when a survey was taken, it was found that excessive TV actually gives us very little satisfaction or sense of accomplishment compared to activities like reading a book or play a game with our family. Most often after we are done watching large quantities of TV, we often feel as if we wasted time that could have been more productively spent otherwise. For me it can become a huge distraction and can add to my feelings of depression.

Now I am not suggesting that you do not watch TV at all. But I am saying that limiting TV time to only a certain amount of time per day will improve everything from your sense of accomplishment to your mood.

Listen to more music

I know this sounds like such a little thing but I noticed that it has a major impact. While much of my sad days have been filled with the news and social media, my good days have been filled with my favorite playlist streaming through my wireless speakers, while I yell at Alexa to turn up the volume. 🗣😂Music has some sort of magical healing power. It has a way of shifting our mood and emotions. It can remind us of happy (or sad) times. It can pump us up. It can help us worship. It can encourage us. It can even make us dance around the house in spontaneous twerks (well maybe that one is just me 😂). It’s really hard not to have a good day when you are singing along to some of your favorite songs.

Start reading a new book

Reading is such a hidden gem. It’s one of those activities we all know we should be doing but for many of us, we get so busy with life that we can’t remember the last time we read a book. 😕 When I was a kid I would spend countless hours lost in all kinds of books. I would literally get so wrapped up in what I was reading, that my mom would have to force me to put it down and go outside and play. But as I got older and was forced to read books that were not so fun (like college textbooks), my interest in reading dwindled. I have recently gotten back into it and have found tons of books on topics that interest me and I am right back to my bookworm ways. 🤓📚I understand everyone may not enjoy reading like I do, but I do think that there is so much benefit in committing to reading something everyday, even if its only for 10-15 mins. You will feel more accomplished and it’s definitely another great mood booster. You can even do audiobooks as an alternative. And if nothing else at least read your little ones a bed time story and encourage them to do some reading while we are stuck at home.

Google fun activities to do either by yourself or with your fellow quarantine buddies

Quarantine has this way of being super repetitive. With everyone at home, all day everyday our normal routines can start to get kind of stale and boring. Especially if you are trying to come up with interactive activities to do as a family or a couple. There are only so many games of monopoly a person can take. 😫I honestly think google was created for such a time as this. This is the perfect time to search for activities. Whether it is creating vision boards, having a nerf gun war with your kids or having a candle lit picnic in the backyard with your boo, there are an endless number of activities for you to try.

Spend at least 15-20 mins alone doing something you really enjoy

Although we are all stuck at home, that does not mean our responsibilities have disappeared. Many of us are working, taking care of kids, making runs to the grocery store, and cooking nonstop. 😫While all those things are necessary and important, I think it is also important not to let your responsibilities overtake you. Make sure you leave a few minutes for self care. And I don’t necessarily mean pampering yourself kind of self care (although it can be). I just mean try and squeeze in something that you love. If that is writing, then write poetry, or a short story or a blog post. If that’s painting, please paint something even if you are out of practice. If you just love drinking wine then drink a glass or 4 of wine. 😂🍷Listen to a podcast. Bake some cookies. Write a new song. Take a bubble bath. Do whatever will make you feel happy and relaxed. Do it and don’t feel bad about it. We need it.
On a day when I was sad, my husband went upstairs and grabbed my camera and basically forced me to go outside and take a picture. It didn’t not change what was happening in the world. But it did remind me that just because I can’t photograph other people right now that doesn’t mean I can’t still do my favorite thing. 📸

Start working on projects you’ve been putting off

This one is honestly only if you feel up to it and have some serious time on your hands like me.😫We bought our house last year. And ever since we moved in, I have had a list of projects in my head that I wanted to complete but I was always to ‘busy’ to get started on them. Now that we are stuck at home I literally have no excuse as to why I am not working on them. So I made a list of about 3-5 projects that I want to accomplish before quarantine is over. I am not sticking to any schedule or forcing myself to work on them when I am not up to it. But it does feel good to see small home improvements start to happen. Maybe your projects are different and are more career related or you want to try a new hobby. Just a reminder that theres no time like the present.

Lastly give yourself and others some grace

Everything I have written before this one is meant to be a suggestion to hopefully help lift your spirits or give you ideas on how to make the most of a sucky situation. But to be honest we are in unchartered territory. No one alive right now has ever lived through a global pandemic. We are all honestly just wingin it. So if you are struggling emotionally, relationally, or spiritually it’s ok. We are all having some trouble adjusting. We are all overwhelmed and concerned. Nobody has all the right answers and nobody is handling this perfect. Just give yourself and others around you some grace. And I mean a Godly kind of grace. Gods grace is defined as love and mercy given freely not necessarily because of anything we have done to earn it but because God desires us to have it. You don’t have to handle this perfectly. Gods not expecting you to. So if you haven’t been able to work, help your kids with all their school work, workout, cook healthy meals, spend quality time with your spouse daily, and keep it together emotionally it’s ok. Give yourself a break. Do what you can with work and the kids. Order some take out. Talk to your spouse so they understand how you feel. No one is expecting perfection. The best thing you can do is right now is lean on God through all of this. And if God freely gives us all grace, we need to learn to extend that same grace to ourselves and others right now.