God did you forget about me?

Hi guys! It’s been a while since I’ve blogged. Partly because this has been the busiest year of my life thus far. With still being a newlywed, business, travel, and buying our first home it’s honestly just been at the bottom of my to do list. But the other reason I’ve kind of shied away from is it because although this has been a really great year for me and my family, 2019 has also been one of the most trying and frustrating seasons of my life. It’s been so up and down that I felt like it was best for me to step back and really focus on my relationship with God.

But I’m back. At least momentarily to talk about something I am personally experiencing in my life right now. I don’t even know what to call this season. I just know that it feels like there is one particular prayer that isn’t being answered and it’s been a serious test of my faith. It feels like I’m in a stand off with God. And at times has been emotionally draining and confusing. This blog isn’t to talk about the specific thing I’m praying about (although I have no problem sharing about it and will probably share more about it in the near future). I’m writing today about what to do when you are praying and having faith for something and you feel like God hasn’t answered you. Or maybe you feel like God isn’t listening at all. Because let’s just be honest, there are times where it feels like he is completely ignoring us when we need him the most. And it can leave us feeling helpless and hopeless. I know I’ve even gotten to the point where I told God ‘Fine I give up’. Luckily I am surrounded by God fearing, faith filled prayer warriors who have been going to God on my behalf when I just don’t have the strength to do it myself. Shoutout to my husband, mom and best friend Tiffany. They have literally carried and covered me in prayer during the moments when I just don’t have any more fight in me.

‘Ok God what you up there doing? You haven’t said yes or no? You aren’t speaking to me about what you want from me while I wait? You are making me watch as other people get the exact thing I’m praying to you about? This is to much God. The weight of it is crushing me. Why are you letting me suffer and not doing anything? Is my mic not on? 🎙What am I supposed to be doing right now? I am feel completely defeated. How do you expect me to hold on to my faith?’

This is basically the gist of my prayers this year. Sometimes speaking calmly. And sometimes crying and yelling at God. 😡 Basically pleading with him in any way I can come up with. Just hoping to get him to say something because the silence is really the hardest part. It makes you feel completely alone and forgotten. But I realized that there is no amount of praying, crying, pleading, yelling, or anything that is going to make God move any faster than what’s in his will for my life. So all the time I spend focusing on the problem is just wasted energy.

So what do you do when God gets quiet?

‘A good teacher is always quiet during the test’. If you’ve been to church at least a handful of times in your life I’m sure you’ve heard this phrase before. It sounds so cliche but it’s so true. If you say you believe in God and have faith in him, then at some point Gods going to put your faith to the test because faith that has never been tested is not truly faith. Talking about faith, quoting scriptures about faith, and posting faith-y memes is cool but faith is not about how we talk. It’s about how you WALK. 2 Corinthians 5:7 says that we WALK by faith. Walking is an action word. It’s the actions we put forward that demonstrates that we believe the things God promised and says in his word. That also means faith has nothing to do with how we FEEL. I may feel defeated or hopeless or sad but what do I decide to do in that moment. Do I mope around and give up or do I FIGHT BACK?

Side note: I am not implying that feelings aren’t valid or that they don’t matter. I have cried many tears during this season (scratch that, every season of my life 😩). But I know now that it doesn’t matter that I cried. What matters is what I do after I wipe the tears away.

So now you’re next question is probably ‘So how do I fight back?’ Well that’s an excellent question. One that I am truly working on everyday. So for me it’s first not believing whatever lies the enemy is trying to feed me to make me feel so defeated and hopeless. The reason I know that they are lies is because when I measure it up to the word of God they don’t make sense. Think about it. When you have the thought ‘I’m always going to be broke’ what does God say about that.
Deuteronomy 28:12-13 says ‘The Lord will open to you His good treasure, the heavens, to give the rain to your land in its season, and to bless all the work of your hand. You shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow. And the Lord will make you the head and not the tail; you shall be above only, and not be beneath…’

Or maybe you’re in your 30’s Or 40’s and feel like you’re never going to get married. But what does God word say about it.

Genesis‬ ‭2:18‬ ‭NIV‬‬ “The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Psalms‬ ‭37:4‬ ‭NIV‬‬ “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

‭‭Or maybe you are struggling to start a family and it feels hopeless. Find out what God says about it.

Genesis‬ ‭15:5‬ ‭NIV ‬‬“He took him outside and said, “Look up at the sky and count the stars—if indeed you can count them.” Then he said to him, “So shall your offspring be.”

Do the same thing for the sickness that the doctor doesn’t seem to be able to fix.

Jeremiah‬ ‭33:6‬ ‭NIV‬‬ ‘Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.”

If Gods word does not match up with the negative thoughts in our minds then it’s a lie of the enemy. He is trying to get us to loose our faith in God by planting seeds of negativity and defeat. And the only way to know they are lies is to spend more time in Gods word (our bibles). Whatever we decide to feed will grow. We have to decide to feed our faith and fill our hearts and minds with Gods promises. By feeding our faith we are starving doubt and negativity. But if we give attention to our doubts, fears and worry we will become more doubtful, fearful and worried. So make a decision to fight back and I guarantee our faith will soar to new levels.

Another way to fight back is through praise and worship which is basically us telling God how wonderful he is. At church this is typically a time when there is singing and dancing, which is an amazing way to praise and worship God. But honestly the music is not what makes praise and worship. It’s less about what we do and more about what’s in ours heart. Praise and worship is really a heart posture. It is reflecting on Gods greatness and just being humble and grateful for him. And not just for his blessings. It’s really about recognizing and honoring God for who he is. The Alpha and Omega. The creator of the universe. The God who sacrificed his son so that we sinners would be saved. When we sit back and reflect on how amazing God is and then think about all he has already done for us, we can’t help but thank, praise and worship him. Praise and worship also changes our perspective. We remember that God is powerful! He has the power to fix, heel, and create whatever it is we are praying about. I don’t know about you but that makes me go from defeated to excited. I am excited to know that I serve such a mighty God and I cannot wait to see how he turns this silent season into a victory.

I recently I heard a powerful woman of God say something that kinda stopped me in my tracks. She said ‘God normally answers my prayers when I stop worshipping the thing I am praying for.’ I think that is such a powerful statement because it tells us that she is still praying for whatever it is she needs from God but she decided not to put all her time, attention, worry and focus on it. Shifting our focus and perspective is probably the most important thing we can do in tough seasons. We are looking so hard for God to do one particular thing that we completely miss everything else he is doing. And then our emotions about feeling forgotten become so distracting that we can’t even see the mountains God is moving in other areas of our life. Last year I prayed to be where I am right now and God did it. We bought our first home, my business is flourishing, our families are in great health, etc. But even with all those blessing I was so focused on this currently unanswered prayer that I started missing out on enjoying and being grateful for what he’s already done. I honestly believe it’s one of the most used tricks of the enemy. Keeping us so focused on the one thing we don’t have so that we completely miss out on all of God’s other miracles.

I don’t know your specific situation but I know he has done something awesome for you in this silent season. Maybe you want God to bless your finances or give you a new job but he hasn’t done that yet. But he has made sure that you have been able to provide for all of you and your families needs. Or maybe you want to get married and it feels like God is making you wait forever. But during that wait he has let you blossom in your career and travel the world. God is always doing something miraculous, even if it is simply allowing us to see another day. So why not focus on the good, in the midst of our frustrating circumstances, instead of dwelling on the thing that we can not change.

The last thing I did to fight back is something very practical. I was having a really rough week. Like feeling completely down and defeated and couldn’t even put together words to form a prayer. So I picked a gospel song that spoke the words for me. Every day that week I played the song on repeat and just sang the words to God. It was my way of connecting to God in the only way I knew how at the moment. I choose a song called ‘Trust in you’ - by Anthony Brown and Group Therapy. It is a song where the lyrics are exactly what I wanted my faith in God to be. And even though I did not ‘feel’ all that faith-filled I know that the words that come out of my mouth are important. The bibles says that we have the power to speak life or death into our lives and situations. So at my lowest when I could not use my own words to build myself back up, that song did it for me. I just kept playing it, sometimes 10 times in a row. So if you can not find any positive words or affirmations to say on your own try finding a song or scripture that does it for you. You can even take my song. I will screenshot the lyrics and shared them down below.

Being in a season of silence has really tested my faith in God in a way I had never experienced before. And I mean to the point of anger, tears and being ready to give up. But then I remembered throughout my entire life God has never left me, even at my lowest moments. He was always right there. So I know even though he is quiet right now I know he is still here because he promised he always would be. And looking back, there was always a reason for everything God does, even if it doesn’t make sense to me right now. Years from now I will be grateful for this silent season. And as much as I love the fruitful, blessed and prosperous seasons, the hard seasons are the ones that deepens my relationship with God and stretch my faith.

Moral of the story: Don’t let the silence fool you in to believing God isn’t right here with us. He may be quiet right now but we are never forgotten.

Trust In You (Lyrics)

You did not create me to worry. 

You did not create me to fear. 

But you created me to worship, DAILY!

So Imma leave it all right here! 

My hands are raised because I surrender. 

Your will is what’s best for me. 

I worship you because you’re Jehovah Jireh

I bow before the KING of kings!

No more crying, no more complaining!

I believe your word is true!

Lord you promised never to leave me lonely! 

So this is what I’m going to do!

I will trust in you Lord!

I will trust in you Lord!

I will put my trust in you Lord!